Fade in.
ext. cliff top watch post - night
GUYBRUSH THREEPWOOD walks under a crude stone arch towards a
BLIND WATCHMAN who is "gazing" at the dark ocean surrounding Melee
Island. Guybrush is almost young, slightly rugged, with a face as blank
as a slate. The blind watchman is singing to himself, unaware of Guy's
entrance.
BLIND WATCHMAN
(singing dolefully)
A many a wreck have I heard today - on the rocky reef of the
old Melee - The ships run aground and then floats to shore - The demon souls of
a the dread pirate horde - Ho Hum, Ho Hum, drink yer grog, spill yer rum.
LeChuck's run ashore so ye all better run!
GUYBRUSH
HI! My name's Guybrush Threepwood.
The blind watchman starts and turns to face Guybrush.
His aim is a little off.
BLIND WATCHMAN
Yikes! Don't sneak up on me like that!
GUYBRUSH
I'm over here.
The blind watchman pivots towards the sound of Guybrush's voice.
BLIND WATCHMAN
Balls! What are you doing here?
GUYBRUSH
I've just arrived in Melee with intent to become a mighty
pirate!
Guybrush puffs stretches his spine and puffs his chest slightly.
BLIND WATCHMAN
Oh? You look more like a flooring inspector to me.
Guybrush blinks. He was so sure the blind watchman couldn't see.
BLIND WATCHMAN
Well. If you're serious about the whole pirate thing
you'll have to go talk to the pirate leaders. You can find them down in
the Scumm Bar.
The blind watchman makes a sweeping gesture with his hand that encompasses all the area below them in every direction.
Where can I find them?
The SCUMM BAR.
Scumm Bar, Scumm Bar. Should I just ask for the pirate
leaders or is there a leader of the leaders?
BLIND WATCHMAN
You must seek out the pirate leaders that congregate in the
back of the Scumm Bar.
GUYBRUSH
"Pirate leaders" sounds very vague. Is there a name of
someone I can ask for or maybe a password to get into "the back"?
BLIND WATCHMAN
(to himself)
Jesus H Christ -
(raising his voice)
Ye can't miss the pirate leaders!! Simply go down the hill to
the Scumm Bar where you will find the pirate leaders!!
The blind watchman is breathing heavily.
Now get the fuck off me point!
Okay, well I better be going. Next time you see me,
I'll be a pirate! ... or the next time you hear me.
BLIND WATCHMAN
Growl!
GUYBRUSH
Well you get the idea. ByeEEEEEEE!
Guybrush takes a step towards an earthen stairway that leads down the hill, but it breaks away underneath him, leaving him no choice but to careen down the slope.
EXT. STEEP SLOPE - CONTINUEDGuybrush falls down the mountain at an impossibly slow speed - almost as if time has been slowed down. He momentarily comes face to face with a small monkey, causing him to hear Cracker's "Gaurded by Monkeys" while he tumbles, trips, hangs and falls through the jungle. He falls through pirate refuse, fruit trees and palms. He begins to feel woozy as up turns down and right side up wrongs itself. He sees monkeys. He sees the a beautiful island woman. He sees monkeys again. They see him. Both are staring and falling at the same time. As he imagines
the end of the incredibly apropos musical selection he finally lands at the bottom of the hill.
EXT. CLIFFSIDE - EVENING
Guybrush lies prone at the bottom of the cliff. Two MEN OF QUESTIONABLE MORAL FIBER walk down the bottom of the staircase Guybrush meant to take, and walk by him without a second glance.
MAN OF QMF #1
You got an eight for for Grog?
MAN OF QMF #2
Nah, we gotta pinch it when Cook's not lookin'. Goddamn
monkeys stole all me loot.
MAN OF QMF #1
Are you fuckin' kidding me?
MAN OF QMF #2
I swear, this is the last time I let those little demon rats
get the best of me.
They plod down the long wooden walkway that bridges a small inlet and leads to the town. Guybrush groans. He lifts his face slowly, but there is a piece of parchment plastered to it with monkey droppings. He slowly peels the parchment off of his face to examine it. He stares. Staring back at him is the same beautiful woman from his hallucination down the mountain. Her picture is sketched in black ink, but her lips have been colored in a vivid red. This red has smeared a convincing kiss on Guybrush's cheek while plastered to his gooey face. Bold type under the picture reads "Re-elect Governor Marley - when there's only one candidate there's only one choice!"
GUYBRUSH
(to himself)
When there's only one candidate, there's only on choice.
Guybrush stands up, still examining the poster. A sea-gull caws. Guybrush starts. He hastily rolls up the parchment and sticks it in his pants. No, not his pocket. His pants. He begins walking gingerly along the boardwalk to town.
